| fat acrobat named Louise,
Was arrested while on a trapeeze,
For daring to bare
Her rump in the air
And floating spare parts in the breeze.
The cop sternly remarked to Louise,
"You're a health hazard Ma'm, if you freeze
Folks not only will stare
At your pink derriere,
You will fall on the crowd if you sneeze."
Louise then rejoined to the rozzer,
"You're causing a heck of a bozzer,
It would have been better
If after he met her,
Your muzzer had married your fozzer."
When he asked, his muzzer then said,
"Your fozzer and I were too wed,
Just not to each uzzer",
Continued his muzzer,
"I married his bruzzer instead."
"So you see, my sweet little cop,
Your fozzer's not really your Pop,
No, that is anuzzer,
Indeed it's his bruzzer,
Who works at the Fish and Chips shop."
"He wraps things both greasy and fishy,
Some hard as a rock and some squishy,
But, dear, it ain't no joke
That I still find the bloke,
To be, might I say, rahther dishy."
The cop shortly replied to Louise,
"You're a fine one to talk, if you please,
From the job that you do
It is seen to be true
That your ancestors swung from the trees."
While down at the station, Louise
Did all that she could do to please
A most handsome young cop,
By removing her top,
But he would have none of her sleaze.
The sergeant, a lecherous coot,
Said, making a copply salute,
"My dear lady, don't stop
With removing your top,
Not when your bottom's so cute."
The Magistrate ruled, with a wheeze,
That the Fat Lady Aerialist, Louise,
Had disgraced her profession,
And taught her a lesson,
Three months in the jug, if you please.
Louise's shyster jumped up like a shot,
"You can't do that, just right on the spot,
I must demand, sir, of you
Twelve MEN (heh, heh) good and true,
To decide if she's guilty or not."
Said the jury, quite taken by storm
By her milky, magnificent form,
"Your Honor, please work us
Post haste at the circus,
We all think we should watch her perform."
Louise chose her costume with care,
Selecting for something to wear
A diaphanous thing
Made of sequins and string,
That made it appear she was bare.
She juggled three melons between
Breasts larger than any they'd seen,
They'd find it hard tellin'
A breast from a melon,
Had not all the melons been green.
Below her the jury observes,
Impressed by the steel of her nerves,
They all gasped as she hung
From the bar by her tongue,
While eating strawberry preserves.
She then licked her lips (that was dumb),
And yodeling "Yum yum yum yum",
She lost hold of the bar
And fell ever so far,
To land in the circus' bass drum.
She remounted her ladder quite soon,
Climbing high as they struck up a tune,
Hearing people rejoice
At the bandleader's choice:
"By the Light of the Silvery Moon".
An enormous gorilla named Fletcher
Was employed as the acrobat's catcher,
But his strength, although great,
Was no match for her weight,
And they carried him out on a stretcher.
But that's really not what went wrong,
The beast heard the band's happy song,
The poor, dumb thing swooned
Upon being mooned,
And fell like a lovesick King Kong.
Primates, both the he's and the she's,
Evolved (climbing down from the trees)
To the highest life form,
Pray tell, what is the norm?
Why, that fat acrobat named Louise.